The Day After Perfect

As I’m writing this, February of 2024 is on the horizon. We’re a month into the new year and I’m going to guess that some of your intentions for the year may already be off track.

It may have been sickness that wiped out the family for a few days. Or an unexpected issue at work that required more hours or energy. Or maybe it was just some rough nights and not enough sleep.

Whatever it was, you’re trying to figure out how to move forward rather than feeling defeated because things haven’t gone as perfectly as you’d hoped.

So how do you get back on track? Below are 6 tips that have been helpful for me when I get off course. This is not an exhaustive list, so take what’s helpful for you.

Tip #1 – Positive Soundtracks on Repeat

What soundtracks have you started telling yourself the first day you missed the habit? What are you continuing to tell yourself? Examine the soundtracks you’ve been playing and make sure the positive soundtracks are those on repeat, not the negative ones.

If you’re looking for some, here’s a few from my personal playlist that are helpful when I don’t meet a goal.

Progress over perfection.
Compare yourself to where you started, not where you’re going.
Consistency builds confidence.
Obstacles are opportunities.
For me, not to me.
Rest is a gift.
The middle is messy.
Something is better than nothing.
Three times a week is a habit.
Everything is working out for me.

Tip #2 – This Isn’t The End

This goes along with some of the soundtracks above, but it’s important not to believe that just because there was a habit gap, meaning a space between the last time the habit happened and the next time, doesn’t mean that you have to “Start over”. This isn’t the end. This is a continued journey. Rather than thinking – oh well it’s already Wednesday and I didn’t work out Monday or Tuesday, I’ll just start again next week, you can instead just continue on today. There doesn’t have to be an ending before you continue with a habit, no matter how long it’s been since the last time you did it.

Tip #3 – Be Realistic

Think about the goals or intentions you set. Are they actually realistic? Is going to the gym Monday – Friday while you have three small kids at home realistic in this season of life? Were you planning to drink a full gallon of water today when you have pretty much survived off coffee and Diet Coke over the last few months? Were you planning to save $x per month when you have other financial obligations that would make that amount pretty difficult right now?

Are you being realistic about what can be accomplished? If not, I’ll remind you of one of the soundtracks above (and a favorite), that 3x a week is a habit.

Tip #4 – Focus On The Actions

Rather than focusing on the outcome like a certain body weight, or a certain amount saved, or a certain amount of books read or miles run, how can you instead focus on the inputs rather than the results?

Can you choose to log your food every day in an app, or contribute a certain amount biweekly or monthly to a savings account, or spend 15 minutes reading a day, or run 3-5 miles a week? What would it look like to change this really big goal and break it down so that you can find ways to couple the smaller habits with realistic intentions and positive soundtracks?

Rather than focusing on the outcomes, you are focused on the actions that can lead to those outcomes. And if you’re consistent on the actions, then the results will take care of themselves.

Tip #5 – Reflect on the Gap

In tip #2 we talked about the gap between the last time time you did a habit and the next time it will happen. The space may be a day or a few months. Rather than “starting over” we want to focus on continuing to build the habit.

But how? Why was there a gap in the first place?

This is a great opportunity to pause and reflect. Was there a life change like a new addition to the family or a move that caused you to get off track? Or was it that family trip over the summer that created the detour? Or maybe it was not planning for the week ahead that caused the pause.

This is the time to reflect and consider how to prevent this in the future. Is it just adjusting the mindset that during significant life changes, maybe these habits aren’t as important? Or could it be that giving yourself some “reentry” time after a trip could be helpful. Or it that if you don’t set time aside on the weekend to plan for the week, that it likely won’t happen? What can you learn and adjust from your reflection?

Tip #6 – Perfect Doesn’t Exist

When we focus on perfection, we set ourselves up to fail because perfect doesn’t exist. We have to expect setbacks, failures, missed days, distractions, and gaps in our habits. We are not perfect, so rather than focusing on perfection, we focus on consistency.

Keep a habit tracker and mark off all the days you did do the habit rather than focusing on the days you didn’t. When you look back at that tracker over weeks and months, the few missed days are not a big deal, the days you showed up are. So focus on the progress and not the perfection.

Do you have any additional tips that are helpful for you when you have a habit gap? Please share them in the comments!